Thursday, November 29, 2018

And Then There were Four

 
I wrote reflections for a short time and life took over. Back to memories and what matters to me forever and ever. After three sons came another brother arrived. We rolled names over in our heads. Would it be David or Daniel? Delighted to have another son. Our new chapter started in Arizona: Chandler, Patagonia and Mesa. These sons have been the energy to keep me going. Being their mother has been my greatest joy. The lessons of life have been generated on a journey which I treasure. Life would not have been life without them. Grateful and humbled. Their endurance amazes me. Thanks for my son's loyalty, love and caring.

Brothers we are!











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Monday, July 8, 2013

JUDGE NOT!


Judge Not
1967
Spring had arrived and so had Steve. Two doors down the street a family was moving their things into a rented house. Driving slowly by, I could see that children were part of the family. The usual thoughts crossed my mind as I hurried on my way. "Surely hope they are nice children. Last family wasn't so good!"

Only a couple of days passed, and Chris reported that Steve had moved into the house down the street. "Steve? Who's Steve?" It didn't take long for his presence to be felt. He used bad language, had sticky fingers and didn't go to Church. "Primary! Yes. Invite him to Primary."

After Primary, while on the way home, Steve talked very disrespectfully about Heavenly Father. "Children, I really prefer that you don't play with Steve, unless he can refrain from bad language, respect our property, and have some manners." Well, that takes care of that.

A few days later, I was across the street talking with my non member friend Pat. She and John had recently moved from Mississippi...a great family. They had four sons, all who "toed the mark" and were very well-mannered. Pat and I went to Relief Society together, and we visited with each other several times a day. This particular day Pat reported, "My children have been forbidden to go to Steve's house. His mother cussed Shelby out and was downright rude." I didn't say anything...just mentally agreed, and again felt good about my relationship with Pat. It was comfortable. She was a fine Christian lady with good children.

Several evenings later, while putting Randy in the tub, I heard a car roar up. My husband soon reported, "The Bishop was just here, and you'll never guess..."

"What?"

"Steve's father is a member of the Church." Suddenly my heart sank. My first thought..."Oh, no, I hope Pat doesn't find out," and the next thought..."Oh, no, the Bishop wants us to be aware, so we can fellowship them."

"Pat will never understand this situation."

During the summer, I met Steve's mother. My first impressions were very negative. Steve had two little sisters. Summer was soon over.

A short time later, I was called to be a Den Mother. The five cubs were all the same age and were friends both at school and Church. I knew their parents and already had a good relationship with the boys. We soon had a well-functioning Den. I established some basic rules like, "No smart stuff, respect for all, etc." Things were going great, the boys were doing well, and I felt that everything was under control. It was all fun and no problems when a most disconcerting thought crossed my mind, "Steve really should be a part of this den." I shuddered.
It was very hard for me to think of inviting someone who was different into our well controlled den and having to adapt my program to accommodate new problems. The possibility of losing control of the other children felt like a big risk.

Some days later... I could hear Randy playing down the street. Yes, there he was at Steve's house...in the back yard...and I was galvanized into action. I was soon marching Randy toward home. As I left Steve's back yard through the car port, my eyes very quickly picked up a familiar picture. I stopped, picked up some half cut paper dolls. Yes, they were from the Children's Friend.

I could feel my heart and eyes fill with tears as I slowly walked home, feeling very heavy hearted. Someone loves Steve and his sisters, and I, a supposedly good neighbor, was really letting someone down.

Decision time ! "Steve must become part of our den. I must cope with the situation and extend my heart."

I soon found myself knocking at Steve's door. He was excited by the invitation, and his mother was very friendly. She supported the plan by commenting, "Bert (Steve's father) really liked scouting and wants Steve to be involved in the program."

I did it! It wasn't easy, but I felt good about the invitation.

A few weeks later, my husband and his Stake missionary companion said they didn't have a contact for the evening. Chris and Brad eagerly said, "Daddy, why don't you go teach Steve about the Gospel?" At Steve's house, his mother invited the Stake missionaries in and it all started. Steve read all the volumes of A Child's Story of the Book of Mormon. After a few lessons, he was ready for baptism.

As Christmas vacation approached, Steve's Dad accepted a job in Idaho. The parents planned to look for a house during the holidays; the children were to stay in Idaho with relatives until the move was complete. We could not escape the deep sense of loss which was triggered by this family's move at this particular time. We were all very disappointed that Steve had to go. How had this boy been transformed in our minds and hearts from a threatening presence to a part of ourselves? What was the magic we had all experienced?

A couple of days before Christmas vacation was over, while doing the dishes, I looked out the window. Standing by the palm tree was one of the sweetest little boys I have ever known. "Children, children, Steve is in our front yard." What a great reunion! His first words were, "I have come back to be baptized."

After the baptism, Steve's mother embraced and thanked us for teaching Steve the Gospel.
And they left. I know the miracle that transforms our hearts is the Savior's love.

 
Randy
Brad

Chris
 Where are you Steve?


Monday, July 1, 2013

I AM A CONVERT



Argie Hoskins Shumway

I am a convert. On the 3rd of September 1955, I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. During this time, a series of missionary lessons called the Anderson Plan was an approach to sharing the details of the gospel. One of the lessons which the missionaries taught was on Genealogy. For me there was an immediate connecting with the spirit of family history and why it is important.

As a small child visiting with Grandmother Effie Argie Fairly Lawson in El Paso, Texas, I enjoyed hearing of her young years spent in Natchez, Mississippi and Texas. Effie Argie's parents, Daniel P. Fairly and Lenorah Alief O'Kelley were married in Wilkinson County, Mississippi. After Lenorah Alief Middleton O'Kelley died, Daniel P. Fairly left the home roots of Mississippi and moved to Texas where he taught school.

As a member of the Hoskins family, we took trips to see family from California to Oklahoma, I loved to catch a glimpse of family happenings.

I grew up feeling the love and depth of belonging to a good Christian family. Here was a Church that understood that spiritual longing of bringing families together. I will never forget the feeling of knowing that this principle concerning the eternal nature of the family which the missionaries testified was true.

Genealogy by its nature contributes to the gathering of Israel. We receive Patriarchal Blessings which reveal that we are of the House of Israel, and as we link our lines we bring together this holy gathering. We belong to a great missionary force on Earth. There is a great force of missionary work just through the veil. Quoting from the Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith "It was the design of the councils of heaven before the world was, that the principles and laws of the priesthood should be predicated upon the gathering of the people in every age of the world." "It is for the same purpose that God gathers together his people in the last days, to build unto the Lord a house to prepare them for the ordinances and endowments, washings and anointing. One of the ordinances of the house of the Lord is baptism for the dead. God decreed before the foundation of the world that that ordinance should be administered in a font prepared for that purpose in the house of the Lord."

Baptism for the dead

  • What shall they do which are baptized for the dead:1 Cor. 15:29;
     Exodus 40:12 and 13; 12 And thou shalt bring Aaron and his sons unto the door of the atabernacle of the congregation, and wash them with water.
  • 13 And thou shalt put upon Aaron the holy garments, and aanoint him, and sanctify him; that he may minister unto me in the priest’s office.
And that work goes on with or without us participating in the blessings.

If we choose to participate, we will share in the blessings of kindred fellowship while still on this earth. Over 30 years ago, I made the choice to gather family data and have the temple work done. I loved the work. Many times after days, months and sometimes years, a way was prepared, a book opened, a name was found. I felt close to Great Grandmother Lenorah Alief Middleton O'Kelley's as I enjoyed her spirit in the temple.

At the time of my divorce some of this gathered information had not been processed for Temple work. Ten years later as I picked up the threads of that long awaited information, to my consternation, I found that the work had been done by someone else. The Lord works in beautiful ways to do what need to be done. We are instruments in a missionary pursuit. If we don't bring the blessings of Temple work to our kindred dead, when they are ready for these blessings, then someone else will prepare the way for them. The work of the Lord will go on.

My son Chris encouraged me to start doing Genealogy again because he remembered it as something which I loved to do. As I have picked up the pieces and made sense out of the scraps of paper, with the help of the church Genealogy program, I let the prayers of my heart do the thinking. I never start without having a talk with Heavenly Father. Sometimes my logic doesn't work. Then I listen and the spirit guides. My story is unique to me, however not unique to the work. I know that the spirit could touch your family in a very special way to connect with your living who are beyond the sting of death.

Three years ago(1984) on a lovely October day, Mother, Edna Fay Lawson Hoskins, Gene and I journeyed to Salt Lake for our usual Saturday evening on Temple Square. In the early afternoon of that Saturday, Mother and I had prearranged to meet Sister Boyle, whom we had met on a previous occasion at the Salt Lake Genealogy Library. Sister Boyle worked there as a consultant. We had found that she and Grandfather Lawson had the same Lawson line. She was a very generous Sister. After a delightful hour of information gathering from her, Mom and I went over to the Genealogy Library.

We discovered that the research we had done for Grandmother Effie Argie Fairly years ago had not been recorded in the proper way. I had been studying this problem on the microfiche, closed the little microfiche drawer and sat contemplating my next avenue. I looked up. How could this be! Standing within inches, a rather tall gentleman helping his wife with her coat in preparation to leave the library, silently identified himself with a name tag, Kenneth Fairly, Chief of Police, Natchez, Mississippi. The Police chiefs were having a National Convention in Salt Lake, and here was a Fairly from Natchez!!! My voice came out like it was stuffed with cotton. "Sir, you won't believe this....I just closed the microfiche, looking at Fairly names." I whipped out my pedigree chart...yes...their stood my direct 3rd cousin, whom I didn't know existed...a wonderful Presbyterian and his lovely Baptist wife Clariece, both filled with the spirit of Elijah. Kenneth's next comment: "I started to take this name tag off before I left the hotel, something told me to leave it on." For the next few minutes, we chatted about the library, how to use it, etc. I explained to Clariece why we do Genealogy and Temple work. Later that evening, Kenneth and Clariece visited Temple Square to meet Gene. We invited them for Sunday dinner and invited the family over to meet them. After showing them around the B.Y.U. campus, we exchanged and copied Fairly information. It was a delightful experience.

When Clariece returned home, she sent me some McLaurin information which she had acquired from a cousin, which helped piece together other information which I had on that line. As Clariece shared the Salt Lake experience with other members of the family, she referred to our meeting as providential and referred to us as kindred spirits.

Last Christmas, (1986) the Christmas card from the Fairly's announced a Fairly family reunion to be held over Labor Day weekend at Union Church, Mississippi. Gene, Daniel and I started making plans to attend.

I could see that my chance to go to Natchez, Mississippi for the Fairly reunion was also an opportunity to go to New Orleans for the O'Kelleys, who married the Fairlys, was fast becoming a reality. I mentioned my Great Grandmother, Lenorah Alief Middleton O'Kelley who married Daniel P. Fairly. About 15 years ago, I found a distant cousin, 2nd. cousin, 2 generations removed, who lives in New Orleans, Phares O'Kelley, Catholic, unmarried and now 85 years old, who has shared so much O'Kelley information with my mother Edna Lawson Hoskins.

A few days before we left for our trip, I turned in about l5 names for processing, one sheet was for Phares' Grandfather John Beatty O'Kelley. That day I turned in James Edward and wife Elizabeth Middleton's sheet. As I walked from the Church office building, the most overwhelming joy came to my heart. I had a feeling that arms were around me and that I had been cleansed from all my sins. I felt joy in my heart.

Sept.2, 1987, we flew into New Orleans.It was a wonderful feeling to put my arms around Phares and at last meet this dear man, who had helped so much with our O'Kelley line. As we pondered his records, I found a will which outlined many names. Names which are now on their way to the Temple. Since I returned home, a letter from Phares, reads, "You were lucky to be able to combine on the one trip the pleasure of delving into the past of both sides of your family. I do hope you will follow through with ours." I have gone through as carefully as I can the enclosed sheets on the O'Kelley clan...etc. I love Phares.

Now from New Orleans to Natchez. On our way we stopped at a cemetery in Woodville, Wilkinson Co. Mississippi, because this is where Daniel P. Fairly and Lenorah Alief O'Kelley had been married and their first child was born. We looked for O'Kelleys, Middletons, McLaurins and Fairlys. Gene drove through looking, I was running, and both missed the grave of Ann O'Kelley, who had married into the family name of Coon. Daniel found it! We were all touched. She was with her husband and all her children. My records at home were out of order in relationship to these records on these old stones. This is Phares' Grandfather's line, who was my great,great grand father's brother. We arrived in Natchez to the open arms of the Fairly home. Sunday brought a testimony of reverence and family commitment. The old Presbyterian Union Church is surrounded by a forest.
Across the road, the church cemetery keeps in waiting the old Scottish families. A historical placque reads "Settled, 1806, by Scotch Presbyterians, whose Gaelic speech long survived. C.W. Grafton served as minister in area 61 years. Site where Grierson's raid was checked. April 28, 1863."

Our families had come from N. Carolina and of course, before that from Scotland. They were Highlanders, supporters of Prince Bonnie Charles. In that cemetery lie some of my Fairlys, Mclaurins, McColls or McCalls, and others whom they married. It was fun and just wonderful getting acquainted with people from Va., N. Ca., Tex., Okla, and Mississippi, who had come to celebrate our family roots. Until that day, I didn't know them. A couple of Fairlys shared that they had good friends who were Mormon.

Cousin Kenneth gave a family testimony of Faith in God and of the Christian goodness of our ancestral roots. I shall always rememeber the powerful testimony of my Presbyterian cousin Kenneth as he spoke of his love of the Lord Jesus Christ. As the group sang, "Amazing Grace", I could feel the wonderful family bond we shared. Clariece did an outstanding job of organizing a history of the Jefferson Co., Miss. Fairly family. They did a wonderful job of bringing together the family. My, it was a great experience! Then, what a great moment, as Kenneth and I stood at the graves of our mutual Great, Great, Grandfather, Peter Fairly and his wife, Mary McLaurin. This was a cemetery across the road from Union Church where we had the reuion.

After the reunion, Clariece and I returned the key to the Church custodian. As she inquired about getting into the Church vault to examine records, the custodian said, that in the bedroom he had a couple of old record books. My heart leaped. My sense of gratitude could hardly be contained as we walked out with an early Union Church Register as a loan to be returned later the next day. Clariece had the words and spirit to say just what was needed. This register lists the twenty six charter member of March 2, 1817, and spans more than a century in its listings of Pastors, Elders, Deacons, Communicants, NonCommunicants, Baptisms, Marriages, and a few Deaths. As we studied it that night I told Gene of my strong feeling that the whole Register needed to be copied. He was experiencing the same feeling but we didn't know how to broach the subject. We didn't want to offending our hosts. We prayed about it and the next morning, Clariece said, "We need to copy the whole book." Gene and Clariece set to work on that project.
Clariece had demonstrated a strong interest in the recording of the Natchez Cemetery markers. She handed me a book which was a compilation of recorded markers. I found James Edward O'Kelley and Elizabeth Middleton's names. Now, I needing to find my O'Kelleys, Daniel and I pointed the car toward the Natchez Cemetery where Elizabeth Middleton and James Edward O'Kelley with other family members are waiting the resurrection. As I knelt at their graves, I had the same feeling that I experienced three days before when I turned their sheet in for Temple processing...."I Love you."

Not only was my cup running over, Gene found a Catholic Shumway who is working diligently on the Shumway line. We found this Shumway because his daughter married one of Chief Fairly's police officers.

Another note, the Rev. C. W., Grafton who served as minister at the Presbyterian Church at Union Church is buried with his family and many of his congregation at Union Church. At one point, I looked over and saw Gene perched on a large stone, studying the Graftons, only to ask me if work could can be done for those who are not members of the family. When we got home, we were looking at Gene's pedigree chart and to our surprise, he has a direct line to the Grafton name. A grandmother Pricilla Grafton, whose father was Joseph Grafton. Pricilla was born around 1600.

As we left the Fairlys, we observed that they live the principles of the Gospel better than I do. They pray, bless the food, daily devotion, do Genealogy, are great parents, have wonderful children, serve others with love and charity, and love their country. What a fine example!

I feel the divine nature of gathering family information, connecting our family lines, building family history and dedicating our families to our Lord. I love and appreciate my family, both dead and living. My cup is full and blessings abound for having sons who are noble spirits. I am thankful.

My heart is filled with gratitude. I would not be able to do this work and enjoy some of these experiences if I did not have the support of my husband, Gene Shumway.


Friday, December 30, 2011

ARGIE HOSKINS FATHER'S DAY TALK

Talk given in Church on Father's Day, June 22, 2009 by Argie Hoskins Shumway

Brothers and Sisters, Friends and Family,

It is my prayer that we will enjoy today as we celebrate Father's Day.

Life can be painful and not fulfilling as we approach these special days. Feelings of sadness and regret may gather around us. How do we get through these hard times??? Through the power of forgiveness, faith in the atonement of our Lord Jesus Christ, service to others and gratitude for goodness. Reach out with love and serve. I don't have to be a mother, father or have children, to be an influence with Heavenly Father's children. We are family. I can serve your children and you can serve my children. I pray to have the desire and spiritual energy to reach beyond myself to serve. To connect.

I have had the opportunity to celebrate Mother's Day. With the same energy as a child I celebrated Children's Day. I had a lovely tailored dress fashioned by my Mother. I felt so pretty and so special. That is what the celebrations are all about feeling special, loved and having the feeling of belonging to a family. Now we come to Father's Day. Same reasons to celebrate our Fathers with a day to show love and to be grateful for belonging to a family both temporally and spiritually.

Fathers choose to be Fathers of light or Fathers of darkness.

Father Power by Todd Wilson
A dad to eight children, writer, conference speaker, and former pastor has written about Father Power.
Inside every dad is the power to change the world. REALLY! Yet, too many fathers are busy focused on careers, money, success, hobbies, and more, and fail to maximize their fathering potential.

I am grateful for the Father Power you wield in your children's lives. It is the power of your influence that ripples across time affecting not only your children, but your children's children as well.

Father Power is more powerful than peer-pressure, greater than media influences, and superior to government institutions.

Father Power determines how your children view God or Heavenly Father and handle life, affecting their future success or failure in marriage, parenting, and business.

Father Power can be used for good or bad.

Father Power originated with THE FATHER, resides in you, and will be passed on to the next generation.

These are great ideas from Todd Wilson

Today, I give reverance to our eternal Father in Heaven. The Father of light, who is exalted, perfected and glorified. When we say “yes” to this power of light, we are saying “no” to the power of darkness.

There are so, so many examples of good fathering.

Richard Anderson is a review editor for the Joseph Smith Papers project and former professor of ancient scripture at BYU. I might add authored the Anderson missionary lessons. Why do I give him this additional credit? At the age of eighteen, fifty four years ago, this plan taught me the gospel. Thank you Brother Anderson.

Brother Anderson reports a touching story about his father an advertising manager of the Daily Herald in Provo about 1936. the year Richard turned 10.

Quote: "Not too long afterward a pioneer astronaut came to town, famous as one of the first to take a balloon with a pressurized capsule into the stratosphere. This was exciting stuff to an adventurous boy, for we could go down to the railroad tracks and find the flatcar that held the long, collapsed balloon that lifted its human cargo over six miles into the stratosphere. The explorer-scientist, would explain this record to a paying audience in the Provo Tabernacle.

I asked Dad whether we could go and got a quick "yes" for two reasons. He had always fed my curiosity by answering questions or finding a friend who could, whether I asked about volcanoes or large garden caterpillars.The newspaper management usually shared complimentary tickets to public events, when families were still inching out of the Great Depression. So Dad and I reported early for the event to his friend who managed ticket sales.

This man still stands before us in my mind, apologizing to Dad that the tour managers had unexpectedly blocked complimentary tickets. A tight family budget needed no explaining, but I watched my Dad pull out his wallet, pull out everything -- one paper dollar, the price of admission. Part of the anticipation was going together, but Dad paid the price of my ticket, telling me he would go over to the office and circle back when the program was over.

I went to the balcony of the Tabernacle shaken by my father's action of sending me ahead when he couldn't go himself. I still can visualize the speaker. For what my father had done remained strongest in my feelings that evening. It still remains. Sacrifice of a caring father.
Thanks to the Dessert News for printing this story.

I am grateful for the fathers in my life. In my family history records, I see fine examples of fathering. To my father who was a windmiller on a ranch in New Mexico, I am grateful for the example of hard work, integrity, and for teaching me obedience. He did not know the teachings of Brigham Young, however he taught the principle of "A place for everything and everything in its place." One day after spending the day painting a room in our home, I left the brush full of paint out to dry, never to be used again. Daddy let me know that was not appropriated behavior. It was wasteful and out of order. "Clean the brush and put it away, now!" When I read that Brigham Young had said, "A place for everything and everything in its place." I know! The firm words that my father said each morning as he awaken me, “Get up Sis and amount to something.” I am grateful for worthy expectations with a no nonsense approach of life. Stay focused and amount to something.

I am grateful to my husband Gene Shumway for the caring which he has given to my children, grateful for my sons and the fathering of their children, grateful to a son who is unmarried as he shares love and service to his brothers' families. We are a family.

You will be blessed for the influence you have as fathers in the lives of your children, grand children and all who know you. The goal of raising your children without regrets will not be without opposition as you determine to maximize your influence.

Being a father is not an easy job, however the most important commitment you will have on this earth is to support your family temporally and spiritually. You can do it.

Fathers the adversity is trying to destroy you and your family. Mothers support fathers in doing good.

To quote Elder Bednar of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints: Talk given May 3, 2009 Things as They Really Are
"The Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are." Today, I raise a voice of warning about the potentially stifling, suffocating, suppressing, and constraining impact of some kinds of cyberspace interactions and experiences upon our souls. The concerns I raise are not new; they apply equally to other types of media, such as television, movies and music. But in a cyber world, these challenges are more pervasive and intense. I plead with you to beware of the sense-dulling and spiritually destructive influence of cyberspace technologies that are used to produce high fidelity and that promote degrading and evil purposes.

If the adversity cannot entice us to misuse our physical bodies, then one of his most potent tactics is to beguile you and me as embodied spirits to disconnect gradually and physically from things as they are. In essence, he encourages us to think and act as if we were in our premortal, unembodied state. And, if we let him, he can cunningly employ some aspects of modern technology to accomplish his purpose. Please be careful of becoming so immersed and engrossed in pixels, texting, ear buds, twittering, online social networking, and potentially addictive uses of media and the Internet that you fail to recognize the importance of your physical body and miss the richness of person to person communication. Beware of digital displays and data in many forms of computer-mediated interaction that can displace the full range of physical capacity and experience.

To feel the warmth of a tender hug from an eternal companion or to see the sincerity in the eyes of another person as testimony is shared--all of these things experienced as they really are through the instrument of our physical body--could be sacrificed for a high fidelity fantasy that has no lasting value. if you and I are not vigilant we can become "past feeling."

All of us can find enjoyment in a wide range of wholesome, entertaining and engaging activities. But we diminish the importance of our bodies and jeopardize our physical well-being by going to unusual and DANGEROUS extremes searching for an ever greater and more exhilarating adrenaline "rush." We may rationalize that surely nothing is wrong with such seemingly innocent adventures. However, putting at risk the very instrument God has given us to receive the learning experiences of mortality--merely to pursue a thrill or some suggested fun, to bolster ego, or to gain acceptance--truly minimizes the importance of our physical bodies.

As I shared these thoughts with my husband Gene, he said, "In other words, DON'T WASTE TIME!"

I am grateful for Fathers who have avoided the pitfalls of time wasted or they are in the process of changing a pattern of waste to be more productive and positive with their energy.

I am personally grateful and thank you Fathers and Grandfathers who find the time to attend your children's games and recitals, go for a drive by the temple, go for a bike ride, play games, share a hobby, don't interrupt, be open and listen, have dates with your children to teach how to appreciate and respect the roles of male and female, laugh and enjoy yourselves and really be there with your children. You pull yourselves away from the TV to show your children how to do life skills like changing a tire, baking a cake, having a savings account, how to balance a checkbook and many other things like solving problems with love and consideration.

You set firm limits and encourage your children to do their best. You do no laugh with them over their failures. You celebrate their successes with them. Remembering that values are caught!

Every once in a while I see a dad supposedly having a connecting adventure or moment with their child or children and the child is gazing around, running around aimlessly while Dad is reading or engaged on the cell phone.

Thank you Fathers for turning off the cell phone, the T.V., and computer to connect with you and your children.

Thank you! Thank you!

In closing, I have a testimony that we are in a powerful war between good and evil. The power of Fatherhood will win.

In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen